This guide explains why and how.
Should you compare your child’s English to a sibling’s or a friend’s?
Almost never, and especially not out loud. The comparison that helps a child improve is with their own earlier work. Comparing them with siblings or classmates usually does quiet harm.
The instinct is understandable. English results feel easy to rank, other parents talk and siblings sit at the same table. But measuring one child against another tells you little that is useful.
Why does comparing children mislead?
Children do not start from the same place. One read early and writes fluently. Another started later and thinks more slowly on the page, but often more deeply.
A friend’s higher grade may reflect years of reading, or simply calmer nerves in exams. English also improves in jumps, and two children rarely jump at the same time. Our guide on understanding target grades explains how much natural variation sits inside any single result.
What does comparison teach a child?
A child told they are behind a friend rarely thinks “I must work harder”. More often they think “I am the worse one”, and that belief stops the effort that would close the gap. A child compared with a sibling may accept the role of “the one who is bad at English” for years.
Even a favourable comparison has a cost. It ties a child’s sense of worth to staying ahead of someone else.
Advice like this is easier to act on with a teacher beside you. A paid one-hour trial starts from your child's own writing.
Which comparison actually helps?
Compare your child with their own past work. Is this month’s writing clearer than last term’s? Is the feedback moving from big problems to small refinements?
This comparison is fair, because it is the same child from the same starting point. It also shows a child that effort leads to change. Our guide on judging progress before results explains how to look for this.
How should you handle siblings fairly?
Aim for fairness, not sameness. One child may need more challenge and the other more encouragement. Watch for casual remarks like “your brother never had trouble with essays”, which slip out easily but hurt.
What about comparing with a target grade?
Treat a school target grade as a direction, not a verdict. A child measured constantly against a target can start to feel like a failure. A better question is: “Is her writing moving towards it?”
How our teachers rebuild a child’s belief in their progress
A child who has decided they are “the weaker one” needs to see their own improvement. In one-to-one IGCSE English tuition, our experienced teachers measure progress only against the student’s own earlier writing.
They set small, clear targets so the student can see themselves improve. You can read more on how we teach.
If your child has quietly decided they cannot keep up, book a paid one-hour trial class. The teacher will see where your child is now and show the first clear step forward. More advice is in our parent guides.