Which kind of praise helps your child’s English, and which backfires?
Praise that names effort and specific choices helps. Praise that labels the child, such as “clever” or “a natural writer”, often backfires. A child may start avoiding hard work to protect that label.
This matters a lot in English. The subject improves through risky work: redrafting, reading difficult texts and trying harder structures. Your words can push your child towards that work or away from it.
Why does praising talent backfire?
If being good at English is a fixed trait, then a hard essay that goes badly threatens that trait. The safe choice is to stick to what already works.
You can see this in students who write the same competent essay every time and resist trying anything harder. Often they are not lazy; they are protecting an image.
Why does praising effort and choices help?
Praising what a child did points them to something they can repeat. For example:
- “You planned that before you started, and it shows.”
- “You cut the parts that dragged.”
- “That opening made me want to read on.”
None of these ties their worth to a fixed talent, so a hard task feels like the next thing to try rather than a threat. Our guide on good at English vs good at the exam makes a related point: improvement is built, not inherited.
How do you make praise specific and true?
Vague praise like “brilliant” gives a child nothing to act on. If it is used for everything, they stop believing it.
Praise also has to be honest. Calling a weak piece wonderful teaches a child that your judgement is unreliable.
Be warm and accurate together: “I liked how you described the market. I could picture it.”
If this is where marks are going missing, a trial hour with an experienced teacher can work on it one-to-one.
Should you praise attempts that did not fully work?
Yes. A child who tried a difficult text or a risky structure has done exactly what improvement needs. “That was a hard piece to take on, and the second half really worked” rewards ambition without pretending everything succeeded.
Redrafting deserves praise too, because it is the most useful writing habit. Our note on motivating a reluctant reader makes the same case for reading.
Does the same apply to criticism?
Yes. Criticise the work, not the child.
“This drifted from the question” points to something fixable. “You never listen to the task” attacks character and teaches nothing.
Pair specific criticism with specific praise. Your child then hears both what worked and what to change.
How our teachers use feedback in lessons
Some children start playing it safe to protect a “good at English” reputation. In our IGCSE English tuition, our experienced teachers praise specific choices in the student’s own writing, such as a sharper point or a brave redraft.
They pair this with one clear next step, so the student knows what to repeat and what to try next. You can read more in how we teach.
If your child has stopped stretching themselves in English, book a paid one-hour trial. The teacher will read their work, name what is already working and set one achievable next step.